Sompting Village Morris Mummers Play

SUSSEX TIPTEERER'S PLAY

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Mummer	Lines
Father Christmas	23
St. George	25
Noble Captain	32
Valiant Soldier	17
Turkish Knight	15
Bold Prince	10
Doctor	23
Prince Of Peace	7
Little Johnny Jack	6

ENTER FATHER CHRISTMAS
Father Christmas:	In comes I, Old Father Christmas, Sometimes sober, sometimes not, I hope that Old Father Christmas will never be forgot. Room, ladies and gentlemen, room I pray, While I lead St. George and all his noble men this way. Walk in St. George and act thy part, and show the ladies and gentlemen thy valiant art. Walk in St. George
ENTER ST. GEORGE
St. George:	In comes I, St. George, That man of courage bold With my sword and shield, I have won ten thousands of gold. I fought the fiery dragon and I brought him to great slaughter, And by means I gained the King of Egypt's daughter. Therefore, if any man dare to enter this place, I will cut him and hack him as small as dust And afterwards send him to a cook's shop To be made into mince pie crust
Father Christmas:	Walk in, you Noble Captain,
ENTER NOBLE CAPTAIN
Noble Captain:	In comes I the Noble Captain, lately come from france; With my broadsword and jolly Turk I'll make St. George to dance
St. George:	Neither to you am I bound to bend.
Noble Captain:	Why, sir, did ever I take you to be my friend?
St. George:	Yes, you saucy coxcomb.
Noble Captain:	Coxcomb is a glorious name.
St. George:	You are right to be stabbed.
Noble Captain:	To be stabbed, sir, is the least I fear.
St. George:	Appoint a place and I'll meet you there.
Noble Captain:	The place is appointed on this ground,
St. George:	I will cross the water that is so wide.
Noble Captain:	Done, sir, I'll meet you there if I am alive. I will cross the water with our ten, I will meet you there with ten thousand men.
St. George:	I'll cut you, I'll slay you, I'll let you know, I am St. George the Briton - OH!
Noble Captain:	I will cross the water with our four, And meet you with ten thousand more. Oh, St. George, hold thy hand, While I send in my Turkish Man Walk in, you Turkish Knight.
ENTER TURKISH KNIGHT
Turkish Knight:	In comes I the Turkish Knight, Come from the Turkish Land to fight. I will fight St. George, that man of courage bold; If his blood is hot I will quickly make it cold
St. George:	Oh! Turk, Oh! Turk, do not boast, Or I will cut you down as small as toast.
Turkish Knight:	Oh! St. George, do not threaten, Or I will cut you down with my rusty old weapon.
St. George:	Oh! Turk, Oh! Turk, do not caper, Or I will cut you down with my old rapier.
(They fight and St. George is slightly wounded)
Turkish Knight:	Well, didn't he give me the challenge to do it, and how could I deny him, See how high he was, and now see how low he is.
Father Christmas:	Arise St. George, and do not refrain, But boldly rise, and fight that dreadful Turk again.,
(St. George rises and fights Turk again)
Turkish Knight: (On one knee):	Down on my bending knee, A poor Turkish slave, I crave to thee.
St. George:	Get up, you Turkish Knight, Go home to your Turkish land and fight; Go home and tell them what champions there is in Old England Dwells. I will send in my Valiant Soldier.
Father Christmas:	Walk in, you Valiant Soldier.
ENTER VALIANT SOLDIER
Valiant Soldier:	In comes I the Valiant Soldier, Bold Slasher is my name, My head is crowned in iron, My body cased in steel, And with my sword into my knuckle-bone, I will fight this turk all in this field; I will pull out my sword and fight, Pull out my purse and pay, For satisfaction will I have before I go away.
Turkish Knight:	No satisfaction shall you have, No satisfaction will I give, For in a moments time, you rascal, I will bring you to an early grave.
Valiant Soldier:	I have travelled England, Ireland, Scotland, France, Spain and Wales, For what St. George shall have his will, You Turkish dog I soon shall kill.
(Turk fights and chases Valiant Soldier away)
ENTER BOLD PRINCE
Bold Prince:	In comes I Bold Prince, with spear in hand, Bid thee thy foes to fear not, Stand, Stand St. George, that man of great command, The ruler over the British land, Advance the power this very hour, Gallant sons you must obey. Let fly your hands, and fight on my lads, with a good Huzzah! Hooray!
(Fierce fight - Turk killed)
ENTER PRINCE OF PEACE
Prince Of Peace:	In comes I the Prince Of Peace. The very first year that I was born, A cruel Russian war begun,
Noble Captain:	Oh fie! Oh fie! My man is slain, And on this ground his body lain: Oh! for some doctor I must seek, While my man lies bleeding here so deep. Oh doctor, doctor! Come with speed, To heal the sick and raise the dead: Oh! is there a doctor to be found, To raise this dead man from the ground.
Father Christmas:	Oh! Yes, here's a doctor well and good. With my hand I'm endeavouring to stop the blood; Stop the blood and heal the wound, And raise this dead man from the ground.
ENTER DOCTOR
Father Christmas:	Well Doctor, what can you cure?
Doctor:	Cure all the hipsy, pipsy, palsy pains and the gout, All raging pains both in and out, A broken leg or a broken arm; And if that man's neck was broke I'll be bound to put it together again, Or else I would not charge you one farthing to be paid.
Noble Captain:	Well Doctor, what's your fees?
Doctor:	My fee is nineteen pounds, nineteen shillings, and eleven pence three farthings. And half that money I demand today.
Noble Captain:	Stop, Doctor, stop! I will pay you in the morning.
Doctor:	Morning? What's the morning to do with me? I'll take my horse and be gone.
Noble Captain:	Stop, Doctor, stop! Here's an ass for you to ride.
Doctor:	An ass! Go ride your ass yourself; A horse I rode here, and a horse I will ride away.
Noble Captain:	Here; Stop, Doctor, stop! I'll pay you in the evening.
Doctor:	Now you talk something like a man.
Noble Captain:	Well doctor, try your skill.
Doctor:	Well, I have a small box of pills by my side called the Junipers. I have also a small bottle of drops called the Golden Gloucester Drops; I'll put one drop on his temple, one on his nose, Put a pill in his mouth, strike a light all over his body.
Valiant Soldier:	So your looking for a light Looking for a flash Looking for a bang - eh? Well I have a sovereign remedy for recumbent Turks This will make your man to jerk.
(Soldier inserts dynamite into Turks rectum, lights fuse & runs)
BANG!
Doctor:	Why you see, he begins to move already.
(Turk Revives)
Noble Captain:	Arise young man, and try to stand, And see how gently you can walk.
Doctor:	And now for your Noble Captain I have cured your man, I am one of the sons of the seventh son, Born in High Germany. I am not one of these runabout doctors. What I do, I do plainly before your face, And if you can't believe that, it is a very hard case.
ENTER JOHNNY JACK
Johnny Jack:	In comes I, little Johnny Jack. My family is large, but I am small, So every little helps us all. So ladies and gentlemen, just at your ease, Put your hands in your pockets and give the poor little Christmas boy just what you pleace
Father Christmas:	Ladies and gentlemen, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year; Not forgetting old father Christmas and the merry Tipteers.
Prince of Peace:	Peace, ladies and gentlemen, peace! I call, For I am come to save you all. Ladies and gentlemen, let your voices ring, Clap your hands together and let us all sing.
(All sing "The Sussex Carol" & dance off)

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