Horsham Mummers Play
Horsham Mummers Play

This is the text for the Mummers Play performed in the town of Horsham and collected by Lucy Broadwood.

SUSSEX TIPTEERER'S PLAY


DRAMATIS PERSONAE
MummerLines
Father Christmas23
Green And Gay8
St. George (The Captain)37
Turk13
Soldier Slasher8
Little Twing-Twang4
Prince Pair in the Hand7
Doctor32

ENTER FATHER CHRISTMAS
Father Christmas: Then in comes I, Old Father Christmas,
Am I welcome or am I not?
Sometimes cold, and sometimes hot,
I hope old Father Christmas will never be forgot.
Room, room ladies & gents, room I pray,
For I am the man, that shows Little Green & Gay,
And all his noble men this way.
ENTER GREEN AND GAY
Green And Gay: Then in comes I Little Green & Gay,
Now without any more delay,
There is a day all standing by,
And great mercy for to show,
And if I can see that noble Captain,
His royal blood I will spoil
ENTER ST. GEORGE (CAPTAIN)
St. George (Captain): Then in comes I the noble Captain,
Now just lately come from France,
With my broad sword all in my hand,
I wish to win the game.
I fought the fiery Dragon,
And brought him to great slaughter,
And by that means I wish to win,
The Queen of Egypts daughter.
Green And Gay: I will fight you Sir, I will make you slaughter,
I will meet you any day over the water!
( THEY WALK TO & FRO CLASHING SWORDS AS THEY PASS )
ENTER TURK
Turk: Then in comes I the Turkish Knight,
Just come from the Turkish lands for to fight,
I will fight St. George that man with courage bold,
If his blood is hot, I will soon make it cold,
St. George (Captain): O Turk, O Turk, do not you royster,
If you do I will cut you down like a wafer.
Turk: Haven't I a right to stand on my own defense,
Of that sweet life as I had sent?
St. George: O yes, Turk, you have a right to stand on your defense,
Of that sweet life as you had sent.
Turk: Some satisfaction I must have,
Some satisfaction you must give,
Before you bring me to my grave.
St. George: No satisfaction shall you have,
No satisfaction will I give,
For in a moment or less,
I will bring you to your silent grave.
Turk: I fought through England, Scotland, Spain and France,
If I can see that noble Captain,
I will make him for a dance.
St. George (Captain): O Turk, O Turk, do not royster,
Or else I will cut you down like a wafer.
Down on your bended knees you falls,
And beg to me in all my calls,
I will cut you, I will slay you,
I will stab you,
I will pierce you through & through!
I will let you know I am the Captain,
Of the British crew.
ENTER SOLDIER SLASHER
Soldier Slasher: Then in comes I the valiant Soldier,
And bold Slasher is my name,
With my broad sword, all in my hand,
I mean to win this game.
My heart is made of iron,
My body made with steel,
My hand unto my sword,
I will face O Turk in the field!
ENTER LITTLE TWING-TWANG
Little Twing-Twang: Then in comes I, Little Twing-Twang,
Just come from the press gang,
Altho' I am but short & small,
I think myself the best man of you all.
ENTER PRINCE PAIR IN HAND
Prince Pair In Hand: Then in comes I, Prince Pair in the Hand,
I face my foes - I fear not to stand,
For St. George he is the man,
The ruler of the seas, and the British land,
Stand 'auce, guard power,
Stand true this very hour,
Let fly, five British boys and who are they?
( ALL PLAYERS FORM A CIRCLE AND CLASH SWORDS TILL THEY SLAY THE TURK )
Father Christmas: O, fie, O fie, what have you done?
You have killed my man, he's bleeding on the ground,
O, is there a doctor to be found,
To rise my man all from the ground?
ENTER DOCTOR
Doctor: O yes there is a Doctor to be found,
To rise your man all from the ground.
Father Christmas: O Doctor, what is your cure?
Doctor: Hipsy - pipsy, palsy, gout,
Pain within or pain without,
Broken leg or broken arm,
I can bring the dead to life again.
Father Christmas: O Doctor, what is your fee?
Doctor: Fifty pounds.
Father Christmas: I can't give you any such money as that!
Doctor (Feigning to go): I rode my horse here and I can ride him back.
Father Christmas: O stop, Doctor, stop, I will pay you half!
Doctor: Neither will I take half!
I rode my horse here and I can ride him back.
Father Christmas: Stop, Doctor, stop, I will pay you all!
Doctor: Now you talk like a man, and where is your man?
Father Christmas: Here he lies bleeding on the ground.
Doctor: Now ladies & gentlemen standing by,
You all can see as well as I,
You can see that I have in my pocket a small,
Box of pills called the Calamities.
And in my other pocket,
I have a small bottle called the Golden Drop.
I will drop one drop on each temple,
I will place one pill in his mouth,
It will strike life into his whole body,
And you will see the young man move one leg already.
( THE LEG RISES & FALLS SLOWLY )
I will drop one more drop on each temple.
( HE RISES AND WALKS AROUND WITH OTHER PLAYERS FOR SUPPORT )
Doctor: Arise young man, and see how steady you can walk,
Now ladies and gentlemen, standing by,
You all can see as well as I,
That I am not one of those half-bred mountabank quack doctors,
Going about from one house to another,
Tell a parcel of lies,
But I am one of the seventh sons of the seven sons,
Lately come from High Germany,
And if a man has been dead fifty years,
I am bound to fetch him to life again!
St. George (Captain): Now ladies and gentlemen standing by,
You can all see as well as I,
Since I took this job to hand,
You see I fought and killed this man.
Across his arm he has great strokes,
All through his thighs he has been broke,
All through his head he has been shot,
His brains did boil like any pot,
T'was him, and I, and seven more,
Fought and beat eleven score,
And if ever I can get out of this battle,
I will never fight anymore.
Turk: No more won't
Father Christmas: Then in comes I, both short and small,
I am come to see and save you all,
Clap your hands together,
And sing "God Save the King/Queen",
Clap your hands together,
And let all your voices ring.
( They stand in a circle and sing a carol )

[ Mumming Page | Customs Page | Sussex Main Page ]