Cocking Mummers Play
Cocking Mummers Play

This is the text for the Mummers Play performed in the village of Cocking and collected from a village resident. It is a small play and instead of the usual adversaries to St. George, the character that is killed is called "Mince Pie", which probably came from the lines where one of the combatants, usually St. George, threatens to cut up his opponent for use in Mince Pie Crust.

SUSSEX TIPTEERER'S PLAY


DRAMATIS PERSONAE
MummerLines
Father Christmas11
Mince Pie8
St. George13
Doctor16
Little Saucy Jack8

ENTER FATHER CHRISTMAS
Father Christmas: In comes I, Old Father Christmas,
Welcome or welcome not.
I hope old Father Christmas will never be forgot.
Room, Room I say, that I may lead Mince Pie this way.
Walk in Mince Pie and take thy part,
And show the gentlefolk the gallant heart.
ENTER MINCE PIE
Mince Pie: Room, room you gallant Earls,
Give me room to Ryme,
And I will show you some festivity,
This Merry Christmas time,
Bring me the man who bids me stand,
Who says he'll kill me with audacious hand.
I'll cut him, and hue him as small as a fly.
And send him to the kitchen to make a Mince Pie.
ENTER ST. GEORGE
St. George: In comes I, King George, that man of courage bold,
With broad sword and buckler I have won three crowns of gold,
I fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter,
I won the beautiest queen, the King of Briton's daughter.
So if my mind be high, or if my mind be low,
Or if thy blood is hot, I will make it cold,
For behind that door there stands my score.
And I can act, and boast, and swagger,
And drive them all before me.
St. George and mince pie fight and the latter receives his death blow, St. George pointing at him continues :
St. George: Oh Father, oh Father, you see what I have done,
I've cut this young man down, like the evening sun,
And for a doctor, you must seek for this young man,
That lies bleeding on the ground.
Father Christmas: Is there a noble Doctor to be found,
To raise the dead, to heal the wound,
And to raise this young man up from the ground?
ENTER DOCTOR
Doctor: Yes, there is a noble Doctor to be found,
And to raise this young man from the ground.
Father Christmas: What is thy fee, Doctor?
Doctor: Well, ten pounds is my fee;
But I must take fifteen of thee,
Before I set this gallant free.
Father Christmas: Rather a high fee, Doctor.
Doctor: Well, as you are a poor man, I will throw off a farthing.
That will make it fourteen pounds nineteen shillings and eleven pence three farthings.
Father Christmas pays the Doctor who taking a small bottle from his vest pocket and holding it up says :
Doctor: I have a little bottle by my side,
The fame of which spreadeth far and wide,
The stuff therein is called Hallecumb pain.
It will rise the dead to life again,
It will cure the Hipsey, Pipsey, Paulsey and the gout,
Pains inside and pains out,
Drop a drop on the poor man's nose,
Arise, young man, and show the gentle folks around,
What a noble doctor there is to be found.
ENTER SAUCY JACK
Saucy Jack: In comes I little Jack,
With all my family at my back,
Christmas comes but once a year,
And when it does it brings good cheer.
Roast beef, plum pudding and mince pies,
Who takes all these things better than I?
Christmas fairs makes us dance and sing,
And money i'purse is a capital thing.

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