Chithurst Mummers Play
Chithurst Mummers Play

This is the text for the Mummers Play performed in the village of Chithurst and collected by Clive Carey and Dorothy Marshall. The form of the play is similar to that of the Iping Play. The following notes have been made on the costume :

"Dressed in overalls and tunics, some gay chintz or cretonne, some of white calico, covered all over with patches and adornments of cloth, silk, velvet etc cut into various shapes and sewn on, hanging in strips and ribbons from various places. Hats were similarly dressed in bright colours with streamers and even seasonal flowers. The Gallant Soldier wore a red military style coat with a round forage type cap adourned with military badges and medals. With the exception of Father Christmas, they all had swords which were painted with diagonal stripes, of red and blue, running continuously round the sword. Father Christmas had a staff of great length similarly painted but also decorated with ribbons of bright colours, at the top of the staff was a large bunch of holly and mistletoe."

Early Chithurst Tipteerers
Early Chithurst Tipteerers


The play begins with the Doctor entering the scene and blowing a cows horn, leading the other players into the area.

SUSSEX TIPTEERER'S PLAY


DRAMATIS PERSONAE
MummerLines
Little Johny Jack12
Father Christmas17
Noble Captain23
King George21
Turkish Knight21
Gallant Soldier14
Doctor66

ENTER JOHNY JACK
Johny Jack: I comes I Little Johny Jack,
With my family up my back.
Though my family be but small,
I can scarce find bread and cheese for them all.
Christmas comes but once a year,
And when it does it brings good cheer.
Roast beef, plum pudding, mince pie
Who likes these better than I?
Christmas fare makes us dance and sing,
Money in the purse is a capital thing.
Ladies and gentlemen give what you please,
Old Father Christmas will welcomely receive.
ENTER FATHER CHRISTMAS
Father Christmas: In comes I, Old Father Christmas, welcome or welcome not,
Sometimes cold, and sometimes hot,
I hope old father Christmas will never be forgot.
Although we've come, we've but a short time to stay,
But we'll show you sport and pastime before we go away.
Room, room Ladies & Gentlemen, though I pray,
I am the man, that leads the Noble Captain and all his men this way.
ENTER NOBLE CAPTAIN
Noble Captain: In comes I, the Noble Captain, just lately come from France,
With my broadsword and Jolly Turk I'll make King George to dance.
And I had him here, I wonder what would appear?
I'd cut him up as small as mint dust,
And send him to Old Father Christmas to make a pie crust!
ENTER KING GEORGE
King George: In comes I, King George the Fourth,
From England I did spring.
With some of my wondrous works,
Now I am going to begin.
First in a dungeon I was shut up and left on a rocky stone,
That's where I made my sad, dismal moan,
I fought the fiery dragon through,
And brought him to great slaughter,
And by some of those wondrous works,
I won Queen Alices fairest daughter.
ENTER TURKISH KNIGHT
Turkish Knight: In comes I, the Turkish Knight,
Just come from the Turkish Land to fight;
I'll fight King George with courage bold,
If his bloods hot, I'll make it cold.
King George: Down under thee I'll never bow nor bend,
I never took thee to be my friend.
Turkish Knight: For why, for why, sir, did I ever do you any harm?
King George: You saucy man, you ought to be stabbed.
Turkish Knight: Stab for stab, that is my fear,
appoint me the place, and I'll meet you there.
King George: My place is pointing on the ground,
Where I mean to lay your fair body down!
Turkish Knight
(On one knee and guarding himself):		 Then on my bended knee I pray,
Al1 for to be a Turkish slave.
King George: Arise, arise, you Turkish Knight,
Go unto Turkish land to fight;
Go unto your Turkish land to tell,
What people there is in old England dwell.
Turkish Knight: Across the water I'll defy,
I'll meeet you there if I'm alive,
Pull out your sword and fight!
Pull out your purse and pay,
For one satisfaction I will have,
Before I go away.
King George: No money will I pull out nor pay,
But you and I will fight this battle most manfully.
ENTER GALLANT SOLDIER
Gallant Soldier: In comes I, the Gallant Soldier, "Bold and Slasher" is my name.
Sword in hand to guard my knucklebone, I am for to win this game.
My head is made from iron, my body is lined with steel,
And brass unto my knucklebones, I'll fight you in this field.
Stand off, stand off, you noble Turk, or by my sword you shall die,
I'll cut off your driblets through and through, I'll make your buttons fly,
I've travelled o'er England, France and Spain,
And many French dogs, in my time, I've slain.
For what our King shall have his right,
The Turkish Knight I'll fight.
A fight ensues and the Turkish Knight falls.
Gallant Soldier: Behold, behold, what have I done?
I cut him down like the evening sun;
And ten more of such men I'll fight,
For what our King shall have his right.
Noble Captain: Indeed, indeed, my Turk is slain,
Between two arms his body's lain,
For what some Doctor must come and see,
Where my man lies bleeding at his feet.
O is there a doctor to be found,
To raise this dead man from the ground?
Father Christmas: O yes, there is a noble doctor to be found,
To raise this dead man from the ground,
So step in, Doctor.
ENTER DOCTOR
Doctor: In comes I, Doctor Good,
With my hand I can stop the blood.
I can stop the blood and heal the wound,
And raise this dead man from the ground.
Father Christmas: What can you cure, Doctor?
Doctor: I can cure the hipsy, pipsy, palsy or the gout,
Strain within and strain without,
If this man's neck's broke, I'll set 'un again,
Or else I won't have one farthing for my fee.
Father Christmas: What is your fee, Doctor?
Doctor: Ten pound.
Father Christmas: Can't pay no such money as that!
Doctor (Turning to go): Saddle my horse, Jack, I'll be gone.
Father Christmas: Stop! stop! Doctor. I've a jackass you can ride.
What is your lowest fee Doctor ?
Doctor: Nine pounds nineteen shillings and eleven pence three farthings,
and that's a farthing under price because you're a poor man!
Father Christmas: Better try your skill, Doctor.
Doctor: Now, you see, ladies and gentlemen,
I've got a little bottle in my pocket called the Golden Slozenger Drop,
And a box of pills called the German Pills.
I puts a drop on his temple and a pill in his mouth,
I strikes a light on his whole body, and he'll move one leg already.
Father Christmas: So he did, Doctor.
Doctor: You see ladies and gentlemen,
I ain't like one of these quack doctors,
goes about from house to house telling people a passel o'lies.
But I can raise the dead before your eyes,
And so you all shall see. Rise up young man,
And see how boldly you and I can walk and sing.
Turkish Knight rises
and they both sing:		 Good morning to you, Gentlemen,
The sleep that I have had,
And now I am awaking,
I can no longer stay.
I beg as a favour of you all,
The Doctor's bill to pay.
Turkish Knight leaves and the Noble Captain and the Doctor sing crossing and hitting their swords at the words marked in red.
Noble Captain: I am the blade
Doctor: That drives no trade
Both: Most people do adore me
I will you heat and I won't you cheat,
And I'll drive you all before me.
Noble Captain: My new silk bows.
Doctor: My square topped shoes.
Both: For I can love to act and swear of wagger,
And every champion I do meet,
I'll push him with my dagger.
Noble Captain: And now I have,
Doctor: Spent all my gold.
Both: Among you wretched fellows.
And if we are condemned to die,
We'll die upon the gallows.
The following dialogue occurs between the doctor and the rest, who chant the answers in chorus.
Doctor: What time is it ?
All: Here's my watch and go right view it,
Though there's no chain nor seals unto it.
Doctor (To Noble Captain): Hip, Mr Carpenter, Hallow sir,
I've got a little question to ask you.
How far is it across the river?
All: When you're in the middle you're half way over,
Fol the riddle ido.
When you're in the middle you're half way over,
Fol the ri the ray.
Doctor: I know, when you're in the middle you're half way over,
but that wasn't the question I asked ye.
The Noble Captain turns away and as he does, so the doctor prods him.
Doctor: Hip, Mr Carpenter,
I've got another little question to ask you.
How deep is the river?
All: If you throw in a stone it will go to the bottom,
Fol the riddle ido.
If you throw in a stone it will go to the bottom,
Fol the ri the ray.
Doctor: I know, when you when you throw in a stone it will go to the bottom,
but that wasn't the question I asked ye.
Hip, Mr Carpenter,
I've got another little question to ask you.
How do you get across the river?
All: The ducks and the geese they all swim over Fol the riddle ido The ducks and the geese they all swim over Fol the ri the ray
Doctor: I know, the ducks and the geese they all swim over,
but that wasn't the question I asked ye.
Hip, Mr Carpenter,
I've got another little question to ask you.
Whose house is over yonder?
All: It is not yours but it is the owners,
Fol the riddle ido.
It is not yours but it is the owners,
Fol the ri the ray.
Doctor: I know, it is not mine but its the owner's,
but that wasn't the question I asked ye.
Hip, Mr Carpenter,
I've got another little question to ask you.
How strong is the beer they sell?
All: If you drink too much it will make you tipsy,
Fol the riddle ido.
If you drink too much it will make you tipsy,
Fol the ri the ray.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves!
This ends the play and the players go off singing "The Moon Shone Bright".
All: The moon shone bright and the stars gave a light,
A little before it was day,
When the Lord our God, he called on us all,
And he bade us to wake and to pray.

Awake, awake, good people all,
Awake and you shall hear,
How Christ our Lord, He died on the Cross,
And for us whom He loved so dear.

So dear, so dear, as Christ loved us,
And for our sake He was slain;
We must leave off our wicked wickedness,
And turn to the Lord again.

Our song is done, and we must begone;
We can tarry no longer here.
So God bless you all, both little, great and small,
And God send you a happy New Year.

[ Mumming Page | Customs Page | Sussex Main Page ]